Last week you cried in front of me.
Although i do not know what happen, but im afraid that its something to with me.
Im sorry if i cause you any sadness again.
The point when your tears falls down, there is this feeling in my heart.
A feeling in my heart which i do not know how to describe.
I do not know what to do then but only to get tissue for you.
And you asked me to tell you a joke to cheer you up.
I hope i did really cheer you up cause its the best i can do already.


I really enjoy driving you around when u are sitting at the front seat right next to me.
And im glad that im able to do so.



Just watched you're and apple of my eye.
Brings back plenty of memories.
Although we are not in the same secondary school.
But its all happening during that time.
I told many people and even you that the best year of my life is when i was 16.
And the reason is that when im 16 everything went very smooth with awesome classmates and many din really have any stress.
But one thing i din tell the rest is that most importantly when i was 16, i found love.
I fall in love with a girl which until now im afraid that i still do.
I fall in love with a girl who i will never forget in my entire life.
I fall in love with a girl who i will give up alot of things for.
I fall in love with you.


Im ever willing to help you in any way i can.
As long as it make your life easier and happier.
So i do hope that you will come to me for any problems that you are facing.
I will try my very best to help you. :)

20.11.2011. 20:11
As expected i will be at tekong.
Being at the chalet yesterday made me uneasy.
I do not dare to talk much with so many familiar faces all staring at me.
But... i do not know whats the reason that i went.
Maybe its the promise 5 years back?
All i can say is on this day 5 years ago we were happy.
In fact i was very happy.
But today the amount of loneliness is i feel unbearable.
But i just hope you have a great time despite the 4 hours of sleep.

Today is a special day.
Enjoy this very day.
Happy 20.11.2011 21st Birthday.
With love and always missing you..........
<3

Finally 2011 is here.
5 years ago i said this:
20-11-2011 20:11 i will be there for you.
But can or shld i really do it?
i think i will be on a ferry to tekong at that time?

OH ITS CNY! Am i suppose to be happy? For some reasons, i hate CNY. Or even any days which brings family together( E.g. father's day, mother's day) cause seriously speaking, i don have one. Somemore this time CNY stack with valentine's day. Double the impact man.
Father-side is forcing me to go bai nian. But seriously i don wanna go. The more excuse i try to find, the more ideas he will come out with to ask me go. Hate this shit man. Seriously Fucked up. I wound rather stay at home and study than go there. Yea man. I say STUDY! On a CNY!

Suddenly feel like blogging. And im not gonna tell anyone that im doing so. SO if u happen to read this, u will be one of the few people who know. And not alot of people know this link to my blog. I SUPPOSE. (let me know if u do)

So much things have been going on since the last time i blog. Its uncountable man. Was just thinking, how complicated can one's life be? I know that mine is not the worst, but hey compared to the people who are around me, i think mine is quite in the high ranking of the list of FuckedUpLife. Seriously im tired of living. Everyday is just like a routine. Rest on weekends? Nah. I have to freaking work full shift every weekend. Waking up early almost everyday throughout the week and next week is the same old shit again. I miss the feeling of being able to wake up without the alarm clock waking me up. I believe some of my close friends had already know that i plan to die at 30. But you know, things change. Guess that mindset of mine will too. I cant possiblily let my mum see me die.

Thinking of my past memories. It makes me feel that alot of thing have change. Some of my frens have found joy in their life and some are still searching for it. For me, im grouped under the searching part. But what excatly is joy?
Having enough money to spend?
Spending time with your families?
Finding a good partner?
Buying lots and lots of branded stuff to impress others?
Doing stuff to make u look more attractive to the opposite sex?
Getting good results in whatever u do?
Whats the answer? I guess no one knows. I guess if u achieve everything frm above, you should be quite a happy person.

Thinking of my past memories also make me feels that i have no regrets even to die at this very moment. I had a peaceful, happy and normal family which feels like crap now. I had 2 wonderful girlfriends who are living their own lifes happily in different ways now. I experience wonderful times with my frens which i still enjoy till today. I had a few very good friends which i can share everything about. I met new friends who are really nice people. I tried most of the things that i wanted to do.( except for travelling around the world.) I caught up with some of my old friends.

And over the years i picked up a life skill. Which is to take it easy when life turns upside down. How i wish i learnt this skill a few years back. It will prevent plenty of stuff from happening. But what ever done is done, so just face it and walk over it.
Someone told me that my life is very carefree. I totally agree. But everything have its pros and cons. Being carefree mean you have freedom and have nothing to worry about. On the other hand, it means that no one care for u much. Trust me man. Sometime when you get emo, you will really feel the meaning of lonely. And as a cancerian, i do get emotional every now and then. Sometimes i will get frens like cheris, ben, ernest and the rest to come out. But when they are unavaliable, im all alone man. Alone in an empty house, looking at the laptop screen and sometimes having a beer beside it. Not a good experience.

Wrote plenty of crap up there. If you don really understand its okay. Cause i just write whatever comes to my mind. Even reading back i don even know what im talking about. I used to blog to imporve my english. But now i just wanna express how i feel.
Tommorrow is a brand new routined day. So NOT looking forward to it. =)

First week of holidays is fucking pack man. Although i have no work on the weekdays, i still have not enough time.
Monday- follow bl go repair laptop, follow joycelyn go buy stuff for chalet, and L4D!
Tuesday- went to town with kj and ernest to buy presents for asmine joycelyn and desmond and L4D at night! long stayed over at my house.
Wednesday- Bball with roger and tim(which i forgot), out to town with jiaqian rin and XIAO HUI! and joycelyn chalet at night(thought it was the next day).
Thursday- catching an old fren.... LOL
Friday- asmine chalet.
AND PW EVERYDAY! =)