Haiz. Feeling more and more fucked up each day. Don know when will this ever end. Sometimes i really feel like ending it just like that. Then all the problems for myself will be solve. But wad about others? My friends and family around me? I would be such an asshole if i do so. Not considering about others. Im just 16 and im thinking of all this. i cant believe wad if i live till 60? That is 44 more years. I think all i can do is to be strong and try to change my mentality of all this. Sometimes i wonder, people smoke or take drugs cause they are stress. Isn't that same as suciding? Trying to escape from the problem. Not considering about others. Just that they do not die straight. My mum once said, im a calm guy. not worrying about anything that will happen to me in my life. Even if the sky drop, i will just treat it as a blanket and cover it over me. But i don think that is right. People may do stuff totally different from wad they are thinking. Maybe they dont wan others to worry about him or they just think that they can solve their own problem. Who have no worries? Who have no stress? But like one of my dear friend said. Stress give us the power to be mature. I think all this is part of growing up. So i guess i must take it, like a man. Face every problem up ahead. Tian wu jue ren zhi lu. All i need is PERSEVERENCE. Suddenly i feel that im such a problematic child.